


It's a Long Way Home REDUX

by LordLuminous



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 1940s, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Peter Parker, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Domestic, F/M, Gay Bucky Barnes, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Parent Steve Rogers, Peter Parker and the 21st Century, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Tony Stark, Steve Rogers Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, World War II
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:27:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26546743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordLuminous/pseuds/LordLuminous
Summary: Captain Steve Rogers and Private First Class Peter Parker find themselves in the future after they went into ice during the final confrontation on The Valkyrie. Now they must navigate through their new lives as everything they once knew has gone or changed.(This work is inspired by It's a Long Way Home by AJacobson. Please go read that fic. It's really good.)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Peter Parker, James "Bucky" Barnes & Peter Parker & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Steve Rogers, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 50
Kudos: 225





	1. Into Ice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AJacobson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AJacobson/gifts).
  * Inspired by [It's a Long Way Home](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15208565) by [AJacobson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AJacobson/pseuds/AJacobson). 



> Please go read AJacobson's work first. That's mandatory reading. Then stop at chapter 13, because that's where that AU ends and this one begins. All the events that happened in those first 13 chapters of the original story are canon to this story.
> 
> In the spirit of the original fic, this is still going to be a Stucky fic. I'm not a Stucky shipper but I respect the ship, so Stucky fans please feel free to call me out and hand me advice.
> 
> I'd like to thank my beta, Sadie (Itstimeforachange), for reading over my work. My grammar is a whole trash can.
> 
> Should I change the title, I swear I wasnt sure what to make it.
> 
> I hope you all like this.

Peter twisted and turned on his bed. Sleep escaped him. All he could think about was Bucky. How he fell. Peter wishes it had been him, at least that way Steve wouldn't have lost a friend. 

It was a struggle. One moment Peter was dangling off the side of a train with Bucky holding him with one arm, and trying to hang on the train with the other. The next thing Peter knew, Bucky had flung Peter to Steve. In the end, Bucky lost his grip. He had fallen.

Bucky had saved _him_.

Tears fell from Peter's face as he internalized the fact that Bucky was gone. After everything they'd gone through together, even if it was for a short amount of time, Peter could feel the loss of his friend. It felt like a fatal wound losing him.

He didn't hear the door open. Then suddenly, Peggy was sitting at the side of his bed. "Peter, darling?"

Peter wiped the tears away and sat up. "Agent Carter, I-"

"It's okay, and you can call me Peggy, remember?" She smiled warmly at him.

"Yeah, sorry. It's a habit." The boy scratched his head nervously.

"No worries. It's a habit I wish more boys, or men, would have." Peggy brushed his hair in place almost like a mother. She had a feeling both Steve and Peter would be destroying themselves over this. She sat at the side of his bed, worrying about the poor boy. So she came to check in on him. Peter was, as expected, not okay.

Peter snorted before looking back to Peggy. "Did you need anything?"

"I was hoping you were awake. It's Steve. He's… He's not necessarily listening to anyone. He wants to be alone right now, but I don't think that's what he needs. He's going to drink himself to death, or he's trying to with the amount of liquor he's had." Peggy explained sorrowfully as she thought about it. "I think it would be helpful if you went and talked to him." Peggy suggested.

The boy stared down, reluctant to agree, but he knew Peggy was right. "I'll go to him. I can't sleep anyways." 

* * *

Peter found himself in front of the destroyed bar, glass everywhere around him. He saw Steve down another drink before dropping the glass on the table with a "clank"." Agent Carter- Peggy was right. Steve looked absolutely distraught. 

Steve noticed Peter. The man simply frowned, saying nothing after being seen in that state. 

Peter quietly sat down in front of him, not sure how to start the conversation. "You know that much booze isn't good for you."

"Dr. Erskine said the serum wouldn't just affect my muscles. They'd affected my cells. Create a protective system of regeneration and healing. Which means um… I can’t get drunk. Did you know that?" Steve told the boy.

Peter huffs, "Your metabolism burns four times faster than the average person. They thought it could be one of the side effects." Peter paused.

"You know, Bucky wouldn't want you to destroy yourself over this." Peter told the super soldier.

Steve scoffed, "Well, he's not here to tell me that. So I'm definitely going to do this. Not like this stuff can hurt me anyways."

"Well, I'm here and I don't like this. I can listen. We can talk about this. Believe me, I want to. I get what you're going through. We can get through this." Peter urged, looking at Steve, hoping he would let him help.

"No. You wouldn't understand. Bucky was my- He's my- He was everything to me. Everything… No one would get us. I'm not going to be able to "get through this." I just can't." Steve snapped, not wanting to talk about it.

Peter glared. "You aren't the only person here who loved Bucky. You aren't the only one who misses him desperately. Do I have to remind you that I was tortured alongside him? Do I have to remind you that, before you joined the war, I was the one who had his back. Through thick and thin, we fought for our lives together. I loved him too, Steve." Peter voiced hitched. Steve's face formed into regret, seeing the tears threaten to fall from Peter's face. "I know it's not the same as you. You've known him your whole life-"

Steve cut him off. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"It's fine. You're not okay. We're mourning. I don't think either of us is thinking straight." Peter sympathized, as the boy gave Steve a reassuring look.

"Still, if Bucky heard me say that… He'd punch me for making you cry like that." Steve mused, thinking about Bucky coming back to punch him for hurting Peter. Peter laughed at the idea, rubbing the tears from his eyes.

Peter dragged his chair closer to Steve, sitting next to him. 

"I'm sorry we couldn't save him."

"It's not your fault, kid." Steve reassures him.

"It isn't yours either." Peter looks up at him, and Steve just takes a breath.

"Maybe. Still can't help feeling like this. Just wishing I was faster." Steve confessed.

"If we're being honest…" Peter started, "I found myself wishing it was me. Then at least Bucky would still be here."

Steve rested a hand on Peter's shoulder. "Don't- Don't talk like that. Bucky loved you, kid. He would break if he lost you. He… He made a promise to keep you safe. That you would survive the war even if it meant giving up his own life. That's why he pushed you out of the way."

"But I didn't want him to die for me!" Peter yelled, his emotions erupting before he could stop them.

"You can't control that, Peter. Even if I hate that he's dead, I can't regret that he protected you. We both love you, Peter. We would do anything for you." Steve hugged Peter as he began to cry.

"You have to live…" Peter sniffed. "You have to promise to live. I don't want to lose you too."

 _'This kid…'_ Steve thought.

"I promise I'll do my best to survive, and to keep you safe. I'll keep Bucky's word if it's the last thing I do. Okay, Pete? You're gonna survive this damn war, come hell or high water." Steve pat Peter's head, hugging him tighter. The sheer determination in Steve's voice made Peter's throat feel heavy. He was going to cry again.

They stayed together in the hug. Steve felt the weight of the words he said. He didn't really know if he could survive the war, but he'd have to. He had to be there for Peter. He inherited Bucky's promise to Peter. There was no intention of ever going back on it.

"You know, Peggy is going to be expecting us soon." Peter told him.

Steve released Peter from his arms. "Yeah, we ought to get going." It looked as though a fire was lit inside Steve. He looked reinvigorated. Peter smiled at that. "I’m goin’ after Schmidt. I’m not gonna stop till all of Hydra is dead or captured."

"You won't be alone." Peter smirked.

Steve laughed, wrapping his arm around Peter's shoulder as they walked out.

* * *

Schmidt was a tough cookie.

The ambush worked but he was a slippery bastard. Steve found himself in a car chasing Schmidt, on a plane. He had Colonel Phillps, Peggy and Peter with him. "Keep it steady." The Captain ordered.

"Parker, you're going with him. He'll need back up." The Colonel ordered.

"Yes, sir!" Peter saluted, sitting up to jump with Steve.

"Wait, sir, that's not a-" Steve tried to argue.

"We don't have time to argue about this, Captain. You're going with him, that's final."

"Just go, Steve. Have each other's back." Peggy looked at the two boys.

Steve looked to Peter, they both nodded.

"You two stay safe as well, Colonel, Miss. Carter." Peter waved. 

"We'll be back." Steve told them, before they jumped to the aircraft, the Valkyrie.

* * *

Trying to stop the bombs from hitting America was tough. Steve fell out of the aircraft trying to stop one. Peter fought the rest of the guards on the Valkyrie. By that time, Steve crashed back into the Valkyrie. Peter's worrying faded into nothing.

"Peter, you're fast. Try to draw his fire away from me. I'll take the hit on him. We'll finish it fast and turn this around." Steve told Peter the plan.

"If that doesn't work, we just hit him together. You and Schmidt are on the same level of strength. I can help you even the playing field." Peter suggested.

"Right. Just be on your guard. This guy is slippery and dangerous. This will be where everything ends. If we can't stop him here, then it's all over." Steve continued.

"We won't let that happen." Peter affirmed.

As they entered the piloting area, Schmidt wasn't anywhere in sight. Something inside Peter tingled. Peter jumped to the side as a shot fired at him and then Steve. Steve blocked the blow with his shield. "You don't give up, do you?" Schmidt asked, rhetorically. 

"Nope!" Steve shielded himself from the shots being fired at him, going for him directly. They fought, but Schmidt was able to knock him down. Peter stepped in and kicked his back. Schmidt stumbled back.

"Ah, the boy who survived. A pity. You would have been a great asset to us." Peter grit his teeth at that and ducked under his fire, and continued to do so as he tried, in vain, to get his way closer to Schmidt.

"Man, your aim is terrible." Peter taunted him, sticking his tongue out. Schmidt growled and tried again and again, but Peter was able to out maneuver him at every step.

Steve threw his shield at Schmidt's head. Schmidt shot at Steve, but he dodged. Peter used this moment to kick the gun out of Schmidt's hand. 

However, the shot had inadvertently hit the controls of the Valkyrie. The aircraft lost its control and started to go downwards. They all lost their balance.

"Peter, get the controls! I'll take him!" Steve shouted as he went for Schmidt.

Peter raced to the controls, trying desperately to bring it up. Peter wishes he learnt literally anything about piloting an aircraft. That would have been very useful right about now.

Peter tried to make the flight stable again.

Schmidt attacked Steve as he tried to regain his balance, punching and kicking him. "You could have the power of the gods! Yet, you wear a flag on your chest and think you fight a battle of nations! I have seen the future, Captain! There are no flags!"

Steve grabbed his leg and pushed him back. "Not my future!" He picked up his trusted shield and flung it at Schmidt, who was thrown into the cubic console, damaging it.

The flight stabilized, Peter looked to Steve, who seemed to have defeated Schmidt. A blue cube came out of the chamber. "What have you done…?" No one spoke. A blue cube popped out.

Schmidt grabbed the blue cube, but it started to look like it was going to explode. Schmidt screamed as something happened. Peter and Steve couldn't tell what. The stars appeared and the blue light engulfed Schmidt. He was gone…

The blue cube simply melted through the aircraft and fell into the ocean.

Peter and Steve didn't say anything. Steve just accepted it and walked the controls. "You okay, son?"

"Yeah, that was… that was scary." Peter confessed, taking a breath.

Steve smiled, patting his head. "It's okay." Peter nodded and let Steve sit and look at the controls. Peter noted that Steve definitely knew what he was doing. 

Steve takes over the plane’s controls, on a screen he reads "Ziel, New York City." He tries the radio, which is picked up by the Hydra control tower, occupied by Peggy, Colonel Phillips and Jim Morita.

Steve called in "Come in. This is Captain Rogers. Do you read me?"

Morita responded first, "Captain Rogers, what is your-" but was cut off.

Peggy's voice took over, much to Peter's relief. "Steve, is that you? Are you alright? Is Peter there?"

Peter answered, "Peggy! Schmidt’s dead."

"What about the plane?" Peggy asked.

"That’s a little bit tougher to explain." Steve told her. Peter frowned. The controls were barely functioning. The situation didn't look good.

"Give me your coordinates, I’ll find you a safe landing site." Peggy offered.

"The controls are almost busted. There’s not going to be a safe landing. But…" Steve hesitated, looking over to Peter, who frowned at him. "I can try and force it down."

"I’ll get Howard on the line, he’ll know what to do." Peggy spoke quickly.

"There’s not enough time. This thing’s moving too fast and it’s heading for New York. I don't know what else to do... I gotta put her in the water, Peggy. I'm sorry..." Steve told her, regrettably. The Captain looked over to Peter. The boy was still in shock.

"Please, don’t do this. We have time. We can work it out. You and Peter can still make it!" Peggy screamed over the radio. Steve couldn't find it in him to say anything. What could he say to her?

"Agent Carter… I'm sorry too. Take care of everyone. Tell Morita and the others that they'll be okay. It was an honor serving you, Colonel. Goodbye, Peggy..." Peter cut off the radio after he finished.. Steve closed his eyes, as he took a deep breath.

"Damn it!" Steve slammed his fist down in the handle of the chair.

Peter flinched. "Steve…"

"I'm sorry, Peter." Steve held nothing back. His tears came out full force as he had no excuse that he could offer Peter, at his own subsequent failure.

"Don't be, Steve. We didn't think this could happen." Peter looked down at Steve.

"That doesn't matter!" Steve yelled. "I was supposed to keep you safe! You were supposed to survive the war! I promised you that you would survive and look at us. I failed Bucky and now I failed you! What the hell is the point in having the serum if I can't even protect the people I care about the most! ...I let you and Bucky down." Steve pushed his tears away in anger.

What could Peter say to that? He looked at Steve, thinking about what he could possibly say to the man. Peter sighed. "You could never let me or Bucky down. We did the most important part. We beat HYDRA. We're going to save New York. Nothing else matters. 'Course I wanted to survive. I'm sad that I'll never see Aunt May again, but I made my choice when I joined the war. There was a slim chance I'd survive the war anyway. I'm just glad I got to die fighting for the right thing. My death, our death, meant something. It saved people. That feels enough for me." Peter confessed, looking at the beautiful sky before him. He didn't realize how illuminating the ray of the morning sun looked from so high up. It was strange seeing something so beautiful before he was going to die.

"Peter…" Steve croaked, like he was giving up. Steve hated how Peter talked. A kid shouldn't talk about his death like it didn't matter. He mattered. He had to fucking matter. What was the point in winning this war if a child had to die for our salvation to do that?

"If it means anything, it was an honour getting to know you. I'm glad I got to meet you and everyone else. I love you, Steve." 

"I love you too, kiddo. I love you so much. You deserve the world, Pete. I hope you get it in the next life."

Peter laughed. It was a sweet thought. Peter wondered if he had a next life. He hoped he could be lucky enough for that 

"Do you think Bucky'll be mad when he sees us again?" Peter asked, staring into his impending death, as they got closer to the ice.

Steve scoffed. "No. He'd crush you into a hug. But me? He'd knock my lights out for letting you die."

"Don't worry, I'll talk to him. He'll listen to me." Peter looked down at Steve, who smiled at him softly as he offered a hand to the boy. Peter grabbed it, and held tightly, looking ahead with Steve. The ice closed in.

And then there was nothing.


	2. Sleeping Beauties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve wakes up and Nick Fury has a massive headache.

Steve's eyes slowly opened. He could hear a radio in the distance, playing in the background. He slowly got up from the side of the bed. His focus shifted to the radio.

_ "-Curve ball, high and outside for ball one. So the Dodgers are tied, 4-4. And the crowd well knows that with one swing of his bat, this fellow’s capable of making it a brand-new game again. Just an absolutely gorgeous day here at Ebbets Field. The Phillies have managed to tie up at 4-4. But the Dodgers have three men on. Pearson beaned Reiser in Philadelphia last month. Wouldn’t the youngster like a hit here to return the favour? Pete leans in. Here’s the pitch. Swung on. A line to the right. And it gets past Rizzo. Three runs will score. Reiser heads to third. Durocher’s going to wave him in. Here comes the relay, but they won’t get him." _

Steve listened closely to the game. He'd heard it before. The words are familiar, like Deja Vu. It was from May, 1941. What kind of radio plays a game from a previous year? It was wrong. This was wrong. It felt off. Where was he? Where is Peter? Steve put his hand on top of his chest. He could feel his heartbeat.

He wasn’t dead.

Before Steve could even wonder if Peter was alive or not, the door opened and a blonde woman walked through.

"Good morning." The woman checked her watch, a smile playing on her lips. "Or should I say, afternoon?"

"Where am I? Where is Peter?" Steve asked, his heart-rate gaining speed as he felt panic begin to set it. Everything was wrong

"You’re in a recovery room in New York City. Your friend is in a different room." The blonde woman smiled as she informed him.

_ "The Dodgers take the lead, 8-4. Oh, Dodgers! Everyone is on their feet. What a game we have here today, folks. What a game indeed."  _ The announcer on the radio mused. 

Steve's eyes widened at the radio, he looked to the woman suspiciously. "Where are we really?"

"I’m afraid I don’t understand." The woman asked, her hands fidgeting worriedly.

"The game, it’s from May, 1941. I know, 'cause I was there." Steve informed her, his voice sharp. Steve gets up from the bed this time. "Now, I’m gonna ask you again. Where are we?"

"Captain Rogers…" The woman tried as Steve walked to her, menacingly. Unbeknownst to Steve, she pushed an alarm.

"Who are you, and where is Peter?!" Steve yells this time.

At that moment, two soldiers in black uniforms enter the room. Before they could do anything, Steve knocks them through the wall. He could tell that he was in some kind of made up set. He runs out of there.

"Captain Rogers, wait!" He hears the woman yell from behind him, but he doesn't listen.

Steve doesn't know where he's going as he pushes past more soldiers. He didn't know where to find Peter, or if the boy was even alive. He stumbled upon an area that looked like an exit. He hesitated for only a moment before running through.

Steve found himself on a road, with vehicles swerving around him. He was outside. He didn't recognize the street. He runs through it anyways. There were so many bright lights. Where in the world was he? It almost felt familiar, but it was so strange. 

Various Black SUVs had encircled him. The Captain stopped in his tracks, surrounded.

A man, a black man wearing an eyepatch, stepped out of one of the vehicles. "At ease, soldier!" The man ordered, and then continued "...Look, I’m sorry about that little show back there, but… we thought it best to break it to you slowly." 

Steve eyes the man, who didn't really seem apologetic, but it sounded like he meant it. Steve wasn't sure what to make of that.

"Break what?" Steve asked the man.

"You’ve been asleep, Cap. For almost seventy years." Steve looks at the man in shock. Steve looked around. Could this really be New York City? It looked so different. Was it always this bright? Steve tried to catch his breath as the thought swirled through his mind. He'd been asleep and the world had moved forward.

"You gonna be okay?" The man asked him, politely.

Steve didn't look at him. He was too busy looking back at everything around him.

"Yeah- Yeah, I just-" Steve inhaled sharply and turned to the man again. "Where's Peter? Is he okay? Is he alive? He was with me. What happened to him?!" Steve walked closer to the man as he let out a barrage of questions that he wanted answers for. "Tell me."

"The Private is fine. He hasn't awoken yet. He's being closely monitored, but rest assured Captain, your friend is alive." The man smirked at him.

Steve took a breath of relief. Thank God. Peter was okay too. He was alive and safe. He didn't know what he'd do if Peter had died while he survived.

"Come on Cap, let's get out of the streets. We're attracting too much attention." The man requested him.

"Take me to Peter. Now." Steve demanded.

The man simply gave him a hard look. "I think it would be better if you let the doctors look over-"

"No, Peter first." Steve didn't waver in his demand.

The man sighed like it had been a long day. Steve didn't feel particularly sorry for him at the moment. He wanted to see Peter, and he was going to see him if he had to fight all these soldiers to get to Peter.

"Fine." The man accepted reluctantly. 

"What's your name?" Steve decided to finally ask.

"Nick Fury, Director of the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement Logistics Division. We go by SHIELD. You can call me Fury." The man- Nick Fury introduced himself.

* * *

Steve sat in a chair at the side of Peter's bed. He held Peter's hand. The kid was so cold. Steve just wanted to hold Peter in arms. To keep him warm.

The Director informed him that they had been inside ice for exactly 68 years. It felt heavy. 68 years had gone by. Steve wondered about the rest of the Howling Commandos. Steve hoped they had good lives. The war had been long over apparently. The world survived without him now that HYDRA was gone.

Steve rubbed his temples in frustration. "What am I gonna tell Pete…?" The Captain mumbled.

"Hopefully the truth." The blonde woman from before gave him a little laugh and smiled at him.

"Oh, um- Hello, nurse...?" Steve tried, wondering if the title he called her was even accurate.

"Agent 13, but my name is Sharon Carter." Agent 13- Sharon introduced herself to him.

Steve's eyes widened. "Carter? As in-"

"Peggy Carter, yes. She's my great-aunt and the founder of SHIELD. I actually came here to see if you were okay and apologize." Sharon told him.

"Apologize for what?" Steve questioned.

"Back in the room, when you woke up. We were really hoping to do all that the easy way. I certainly didn't help." Sharon confessed with her hands in her jacket pocket, being disappointed in herself.

"I wouldn't blame you for that. It was a tense situation. Nothing that happened was really your fault." Steve told her, not wanting to blame her.

"Thank you for saying that." Sharon replied gratefully. "On a different note, I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is that Director Fury wants to debrief you on everything." Sharon continued, as she informed Steve.

Steve sighed and gave her a hard look. "Tell the Director that I'm not leaving Peter's side 'till he's awake."

"He had a feeling you'd say that. Director Fury is willing to give you space. It'll happen when you  _ both _ are ready for it, but I recommend you get up to speed as quickly as possible. Although I can tell he has a lot to ask you both." Sharon looked to Peter as she passed him this information. The big question for them was how did Peter survive all of this?

"And what's the good news?" Steve asked, sounding hopefully.

"My great-aunt is coming from London to see you." Sharon smiled.

"Oh, how long is that goin' to take?" Steve wondered.

"Maybe less than a day." Sharon estimated. "She's probably on our fastest jet. She was pretty shocked to find both you and Peter being alive."

"Less than a day from London? Has travel really gotten that fast?" Steve asked incredulously, jerking back at the thought. 

Sharon gave him a look. She forgot that this was still new for him. "...Um, yeah. It can be that fast. Technology has come pretty far since the 40s."

"Any chance there's flying cars?" Steve asked almost timidly, but it was hopeful.

Sharon laughed. "No, but we are working on that. Hopefully Stark will get on it sooner rather than later."

"Stark? Howard's still kickin', huh? I'm glad." Steve smiled down at Peter, wishing he could hear this.

Sharon's face morphed into a sad frown. "Actually… Howard Stark is no longer with us… I was referring to his son, Tony. Although you should probably save your questions for the debriefing. I am sorry for your loss." Sharon remorsefully pat his shoulder as Steve paled at the news.

Steve felt sick. The weight of 68 years hit him again. It had taken so much from him. What else did he lose? What did he have left? Who else was gone? The world had had 68 years to grieve, he’d lost everything in the blink of an eye, Steve despaired as his thoughts consumed him.

Sharon closed her eyes. She shouldn't have brought this up. She was annoyed with herself.

Peter made a noise. 

Steve and Sharon winced. Steve leaned forward. "Pete? Son, wake up." Steve reached out.

"Hmm.. 'Steeb…?" Peter's speech slurred, as he was waking up.

"I'm here, buddy. You're okay. You're okay. You're fine, Peter." Steve whispered reassuringly to Peter, who opened his eyes slowly. The first thing he saw was Steve.

"Mm… Is this Heaven?" Peter asked him, looking around the room.

Steve laughed. "No, Peter. We're alive."

"Seriously?" Peter raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously." Steve replied.

Peter sat up slowly. Steve helped him, telling him to move slowly. 

"Sir, he's awake." Sharon informed someone, speaking into an earpiece. Steve looked to her, wondering if she was telling Fury about their situation. She moved pretty quickly.

"Who is that?" Peter pointed, looking to Steve for an answer.

"She works for the people who saved us." Steve told him. "I woke up earlier, and I got to speak with the man in charge."

"Oh, that musta' been scary, huh?" Peter inquired. 

"Yeah, it sure was. You wouldn't believe it." Steve admitted.

"We can have a doctor check you guys up. Then you guys can breathe easy for a bit before we debrief and question you both." Sharon explained to war heroes, who looked to each other. 

"Right…" Steve began. "Sharon, can you give Peter and I a few minutes to talk?"

Sharon gave Steve and then Peter a look. She understood what was about to happen. It was a little comforting that it would be Steve that was going to talk to Peter instead of the news coming from a stranger.

"Alright, I'll leave you to it. Someone will be here to escort you to Director Fury. See you later." Sharon waved, as she took her leave, shutting the door behind her.

Peter raised an eyebrow. "What's going on?" Peter asked suspiciously.

Steve took a deep breath. This was not going to be easy. How was he supposed to explain to Peter they'd been in ice for 68 years. He was still processing everything, and he still had to tell Peter. He suddenly found himself sympathizing with Director Fury, who tried to break it to him slowly. The world was cruel. Steve looked down, coaching himself in his head before he looked up at Peter, who seemed to be nervously watching Steve contemplate on what he wanted to say.

"Peter, what do you remember last?" Steve started off, hoping he could use Peter's last memory to recount everything.

"We were on the aircraft, we beat Schmidt, but the controls were almost busted and we weren't going to make it out alive. We…" Peter gasped as he recounted as the details came back to him. "We crashed the plane into the ice…"

"But we survived the crash. I'm not really sure how. Maybe it's because our… abilities kept us alive, but we were found by these guys. They're called SHIELD. They were searching for our bodies and they found us alive." Steve explained everything from his understanding.

"So, SHIELD is good?" Peter timidly wondered.

"Yeah, pretty much. Apparently Peggy was the one who founded it. They musta' been looking for us." Steve concluded.

"Oh, that's neat-" Peter started. Steve could tell that Peter was about to get into his mumbling with rapid fire questions, but Steve stopped him.

"Peter, there's actually something I'm trying to get at. Just let me finish." Steve began.

Peter stayed silent, watching Steve becoming more serious. It made Peter anxious. What did Steve want to say?

"Peter, we were stuck in ice for a long time. It wasn't just a few years, but a very really long time. During that time, Peggy and Howard didn't stop looking for us." Steve told him.

Peter silently nodded.

"Peter… we aren't in the 1940s anymore." Steve announced.

Peter didn't look as shocked, he was still internalizing it. How long had it been? He was very much afraid of the answer to the question that he was going to ask. "Steve, what year is it?"

"It's 2011." 

Peter's face broke into surprise before morphing into despair. 

"It's what…? That's- It's been-" Peter stuttered through his sentence.

Steve's heart ached like hell watching Peter breaking down, covering his mouth. Peter didn't deserve this. They both didn't.

"We've been in ice for 68 years." Steve affirmed.

Peter said nothing. He wondered about Aunt May, she must've been heartbroken to find out he died. He wondered how the rest of her life had been. He felt bile coming up his throat at the idea of Aunt May spending the rest of her life alone, without anyone who cared about her. He should have been there for her. Peter's thoughts drifted to the war, he wondered how the war ended? How many people died after they did? Did any of the remaining Howling Commandos die? Peggy must have been angry after he cut the radio off.

Steve let the silence remain after he broke the news. He let Peter internalize his thoughts and the news. God knows Steve was still reeling from the news, but he had to be strong for Peter. It felt strange. Being told you were in a different time felt like a gut punch, and Steve had many gut punches in his life of being pummelled in a back alley. None of those blows could compare to the one he felt now.

"So what do we do now?" Peter whispered timidly.

"I dunno, kid. They wanted to talk to us. Chances are that they'll ask you how you survived." Steve theorized.

Peter thought about that for a moment. They hadn't told anyone about what had happened with Dr. Zola, how he and Bucky had been experimented on by the doctor after they'd been captured. Steve knew but that was it. What would they do if they realized? Peter held his chin to ponder.

"Whatever it is they do, we'll get through it together." Steve held Peter's shoulder, looking into his eyes.

Peter stared back, seeing the earnest in Steve's eyes burning bright. Peter nodded, and went in for a hug. Steve wrapped his arms around Peter, holding him firmly.

A few moments later, there was a knock on the door. The door peered open as the duo broke apart. A doctor came in to check up on them.

* * *

To say Nick Fury was having a hell of day was an understatement.

He was looking at two war heroes, one war hero and a teenager, neither of whom look a day older from the day they died. When they had found Cap in ice, it wasn't as much of a surprise that he survived. It was shocking, yes, but not as surprising. You could theoretically explain it. The serum was meant to change Cap's whole physiology. It was supposed to create a protective system to keep Cap strong. No, what didn't make sense was the kid that survived with the Captain.

This is where the tracks became shaky. How in the world did a teenager survive being in ice for 68 years? Fury feels his migraine getting worse by the second at all the possible reasons and their logical implications.

Steve sat with his arms crossed, he noticed the Director looked annoyed. It made his eyes focus on the man harder, wondering what was going on in his head.

Peter sat nervously, twiddling his thumbs as he waited for something to happen. Sharon said they were going to be debriefed, but debriefed on what?

"Okay, the first thing we need to start doing is teaching you both how to reintegrate into our society. For that, we're going to be doing a "How to Live in the 21st Century 101" course for you both. It's going to teach you social norms that we have gained and norms that we have decided are outdated, as well as technology you'll need to learn." Fury explained as Steve and Peter looked to each other and listened closely.

"Wait, I have a question." Peter interrupted. "What exactly happened to the war? How did it end?"

"We won, it officially ended in 1945, but Germany was defeated in 1943 shortly after you two went into ice." Fury answered. "If you want the details, you can ask the instructor that's going to be teaching you."

"And where exactly will we be staying?" Steve asked, still keeping his arms crossed.

"Here, at SHIELD HQ. It'll be best if you stayed with us while we go through the reintegration process. It'll be beneficial for you and us. We can keep a close eye on you and your development while keeping you safe, while you learn about the new world you're in." Fury explained rather smoothly.

Steve pondered about that. It sounded like it was a mutually beneficial plan. Steve couldn't find a reason to object so he accepted. Peter just nodded.

"Now, we'll get to that in a moment. You see, it was a surprise for us that Captain Roger's survived the crash. However, what was even more of a shock was that the Private over here survived too. You're going to explain that to me, preferably now." Fury crossed his arms as he demanded an answer.

Peter shifted in his seat. He didn't like talking about what happened to him as he was captured by Dr. Zola. It was not a pleasant memory, especially after he was separated from Bucky. 

Steve saw Peter becoming increasingly uncomfortable at the demand for answers. Something inside him stirred as he saw the kid tense up. Steve was going to punch Fury out if he even thought about trying to poke into Peter.

"Well, I am expecting an answer some time today." Fury insisted on an answer.

"I'm sorry, sir. It's hard to talk about." Peter frowned sadly into his lap.

Fury closed his eyes. He was trying to be patient. He really was. "I don't need the details. Just a quick explanation would suffice too."

Steve pressed a hand on Peter's shoulder. "Peter, do you want me to tell him? I know enough to talk. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to." Steve brushed Peter's cheek with his finger.

"It's okay, Steve. I got it." Peter breathed heavily before affirmed, looking back to Fury. "I was experimented on by Dr. Zola when the 107th got captured in Azzano, alongside Sergeant Barnes."

Fury frowned sadly this time. "I see. And the enhancement Dr. Zola put you through must be the reason you survived. Under normal circumstances, I'd have you tested to see what's actually happened to your body."

Steve and Peter flinched. Steve grit his teeth at that, glaring at the man. He was ready for a fight. Peter already got poked around by Dr. Zola. He's not going let anything like that happen again.

"However, I get the feeling that the Captain over there is more than just against that. At ease soldier, I'm not here to harm either of you." Fury looked to Steve, who relaxed when he realized Peter was safe. "Besides if you want to know more about yourself, and I'm willing to bet that you will, you'll come to us when you need it."

Peter looked hesitant. The Director seemed really confident about that, like he was expecting Peter to be curious about himself. "Not sure if I'll want to, sir. But thank you for the freedom of my choice."

"No thanks required. The reintegration process will be tough enough as is. I know when the public gets a wind of you being alive, that'll be a fun news day for the media. I can hear it now: "Living Legend Captain America comes back from the dead" or something like that." Fury mused at a future headache he was going to have. Normally he wouldn't be that worried. The Captain had experience being the 'Star Spangled Man with a Plan' so he'll get by. But Steve was stuck to Peter, and the media was definitely not kind enough to spare a child from their news mongering.

"Living Legend…?" Steve wondered. Peter raised an eyebrow with interest, leaning in.

"Oh yeah, congratulations Cap. You and the Howling Commandos became several generations of children's childhood heroes. Have fun with that." Fury informed him.

Peter looked to him with a proud grin. "Hear that, Steve? You're a star now. I'm sure being famous will be fun. Now all of America will forever see you in blue tights." Peter teased, snickering.

Steve scoffed. "Oh yeah? You're famous too. He said the Howling Commandos, so you're probably being studied in history books. Congratulations, Pete. You were cohorts with a guy in blue tights. So you're in the same boat as me." Steve snapped back.

Peter groaned in annoyance at the idea. That was definitely embarrassing.

Fury narrowed his eyes at the banter. "Actually, no. I'm sorry to say, but the Private isn't famous. Peter Parker isn't historically recognized as a Howling Commando."


	3. A Brave New World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a shocking revelation, Steve and Peter reunite with an old friend as they learn more about the world.

"Peter's been what?!" Steve stood up in anger. The chair he sat in fell back with force that Steve stood up with. 

Peter said nothing. He looked down. _"I guess that was taken from me too."_ Peter thought to himself.

"Do not yell at me." Fury cut in harshly before Steve could say anything else. "It wasn't my call to make. The government made that call in 1943 when Peter was considered dead. They couldn't just tell the American people that a 15 year old teenager just died alongside a national hero while saving everyone. It was more about the country's image and you. The country was already devastated by losing you. Top that with a kid dying for the cause. It would've been worse." Fury explained.

"So what, Peter just gets to have all his whole existence erased...?" Steve snapped.

Peter despaired at that. In some ways, he could understand it. It still felt sad that he was just erased. He didn't even exist in the world anymore. Did he even get a grave? Or a funeral? Did Aunt May have to pay for everything? Peter wondered if he could even visit his own grave. It sounded frightening.

Fury gave them both a look, noting Peter's lack of a response. "Well, yes. He shouldn't have been there in the first place. You should've sent him away when you had the chance. Besides, this works out better for him. Sure he's not considered a war veteran, but this also means he'll be able to transition into the world without the world looking at him. He can just be a normal kid who no one would suspect could have superpowers. 'Fraid I can't say the same for you, Cap."

Steve grit his teeth in anger. It didn't sit right with him, but Peter having anonymity would have been better for him. He looked over to Peter. Peter still didn't say anything. Steve moved to Peter and knelt at him, holding the boy's shoulder. "It'll be okay, son. Maybe the world doesn't know, but you're still a hero to me and everyone else who knew you. Nothing can ever change that."

Peter gave a small smile to the blond. "Thank you, Steve." 

Steve wrapped the boy in a tight hug, Peter let him and returned the hug.

Fury looked away from the two, thinking about how hard everything was going to be for them.

* * *

Learning about the new world was strange. So much had changed. It felt like they were on different Earth entirely. Dahlia, the teacher, was the one telling about the new world. She prepared a whole presentation for both of them and she was very patient with answering questions they had. She called it a PowerPoint. Steve raised an eyebrow at the fancy term. There were a lot of fancy new terms flying around. It was going to be hard memorizing it all. They sat for hours through the course, and learned basic things that were normal now, as well as new technology that was in the world.

Steve mumbled something about new technology that was going to be hard to use. Peter tried not to laugh at that.

Peter and Steve were told about the world after the war and the Cold War that happened years after. War seemed to have continued throughout the century before there was any real peace. Peter wondered what the world without the war looked like. He grew poor in the 1930s, which was labelled the Great Depression. It was strange how far away those years felt in comparison to the future, or the present.

"Loads of things have changed since the 1940s, as you know. One of those things was the racial equality. Where people, no matter the race, were given equal rights and equal standing in the law with their white counterparts. Children from different races now go to school together and everyone just co-exists together. This also means you can't say derogatory things to black people or use the N-word." Dahlia explained as she went through her PowerPoint. 

Peter and Steve looked to each other in surprise. "That's good. I was never one to belittle them or use…" Steve stopped himself midway. "...the N-word." Peter nodded to that.

Dahlia smiled at both of them. They seemed to be on the same page as that. Dahlia could tell they weren't baked in with bigotry, at least not for racism.

"That's good. With more rights and acceptance for minorities, we also have the LGBTQ movement. It's a movement for gay rights and acceptance for gay and trans people alike. The acronym stands for Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Queer or Questioning. It's become acceptable for gay people to be in a relationship with each other more openly without fear of prosecution."

Steve remained in shock as Dahlia spoke. Could it have been true? You could be in a relationship with your fella and no one would mind? He and Bucky could've been together in this time. He could've held hands with Bucky and not give a damn who saw them. He wished more than ever that Bucky was here with him. His heart ached remembering that Bucky had died. That wound still felt so fresh. How could he live without Bucky, in a world where he could've been together with him?

Peter wondered more about what Dahlia said. "So the fags have rights too now?"

Steve's eyes widened as he looked to Peter worriedly. He wasn't confident that Peter would accept his relationship with Bucky. The two of them hid it from everyone. Steve wondered if he could ever bring himself to tell Peter. Did it even matter anymore now that Bucky was dead?

Dahlia nervously laughed. "Umm, yeah. But people who aren't gay can't use the f-slur, so please refrain from saying it out loud. It's considered offensive. Likewise the N-word can only be said by black people and nobody else."

Peter's eyes widened. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'll try not to say it again." His head slinked in shame.

Dahlia smiled nervously at the boy and hoped he wouldn't say or do anything that would be considered homophobic. Steve continued to be nervous.

"So, anyone can just hold hands with their fella or dame?" Steve asked Dahlia.

"Well, yeah. Also, we just say guy or girl. We are still working towards legalizing same-sex or gay marriage everywhere in America. Hopefully it happens soon, currently Vermont, New Hampshire, Washington D.C., and New York are the only places where same-sex marriage is legal. So we are still working towards it. More people are becoming accepting of the LGBTQ movement. It's an uphill battle fighting that bigotry." Dahlia sighed as she explained the current state of the LGBTQ movement and the progress.

Steve held his hand to his chin. It was still a work in progress but more were becoming accepting. The thought was comforting. Steve hoped that the world would become more accepting soon. Although he felt bitter that he couldn't share this with Bucky. It felt cruel, being part of a world where he could've had everything with Bucky and yet he can't. 

Peter looked to Steve, wondering what the man was thinking about.

Dahlia went on to explain more about gay couples and how they could adopt. Peter felt like the lessons would go on forever, they were only supposed to go over the basics. Peter sighed as Dahlia continued on.

Steve asked a question that Peter drowned out, along with the rest of the whole "LGBT" conversation. The world felt so wildly different. He hadn't even been outside and so much was different. The only thing Peter knew his whole was adversity. He grew up during the Great Depression and the Second World War, but those were long over. Peter simply wondered. What did a world without the War even look like? Was it peaceful? Were children safe? What would his own life look like without war and poverty? It made him nervous in his stomach. A small anxiety began building up with the thoughts that swirled. It could be a dream come true, but what if it wasn't everything it was cracked up to be?

Peter's thoughts were interrupted.

"-ter?" The teacher called over, but he felt a hand on his shoulder. Peter looked to Steve.

"Huh?" Peter blinked at the captain.

"You okay, buddy?" Steve asked.

"Y-Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." Peter shook his head. Steve didn't know if he believed that.

Dahlia frowned at the scene. She looked down. Maybe an hour of class was enough for now. She clasped her hands together, getting both men's attention.

"Well, I'm going to call this a day for you guys. I already dropped a lot on you both. Let's wrap up." Dahlia smiled at both of them, as she crossed her arms.

Peter and Steve looked to each other before turning back to Dahlia.

"I guess."

"Sure."

* * *

Before Steve and Peter could retire for the day, Fury found both of them. Steve scowled as Peter looked away.

"At ease, I'm only here to tell you that someone you know wants to see you again." Fury had his hands in his pockets as he leaned back.

Steve thought for a moment before he realized who Fury was talking about. "Is it Peggy?"

"Wait, Peggy? What do you mean? Is Peggy coming by?" Peter asked, bewildered.

Fury raised an eyebrow at Steve. "How did you find out? It was meant to be a surprise."

"Sharon told me." Steve answered honestly.

Fury frowned before rolling his eyes. "Alright, come on, let's get this over with."

Fury took them to a different room, and there they found an old woman who had sat down with a cane in her lap, her features had ages, but it was definitely Peggy Carter.

Peter and Steve stared at Peggy, there was nothing said. No one knew how to start. The older woman slowly began to rise.

"Hello, Steve, Peter. It has been so long." Peggy smiled, as she wiped away a tear.

"Hey Ms. Carter." Peter spoke softly, as he waved.

"Sorry we were gone for such a long time, Peggy." Steve shrugged.

"You dolts." The old woman walked over to hug them, pulling them both in.

"Also, if we're apologizing for things, I want to say sorry for cutting off the radio."

"Don't you remind me." Peggy said as she pulled away to point her finger at Peter, who put his hands up in defeat. "I'm reserving my right to remain upset at both of you."

Steve laughed at seeing how unchanged Peggy seemed. She still had fire.

"And what's so funny, Captain?" Peggy raised an eyebrow at the blond.

"Nothing, it's just that you haven't changed" Steve crossed his arms, smirking.

Peter giggled as Peggy scoffed. "And you don't look a day older either. Neither of you in fact. That means you both are still the same old reckless idiots. Also, while we are on the topic of age, may I know why Peter doesn't look a day older from the day he died."

Peter looked nervous again, almost everyone wanted to talk about him and his powers. Peter thought about Peggy. Peggy is someone he knows, so telling her felt less frightening.

As Peter was distracted, Steve gestured for Peggy to stop, and Peggy's eyes widened as she realized Peter was closing into himself. Steve and Peggy resumed a conversation with their gestures, with Steve admonishing Peggy and Peggy wanting to apologize.

Shaken out of his thoughts, Peter felt a hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to talk about everything if you don't want to, buddy. Peggy will understand." Steve reassures him warmly.

"I'm sorry. It's okay, sweetheart. If you don't want to talk, we can talk about other things. We have a plethora of things to catch up on." Peggy smiled, honestly, as she felt bad for touching on a topic that was sensitive.

"N-No, let's talk about it. I trust you, Peggy." Peter affirmed and then slowly came in to hug Peggy again, who happily returned the hug, who felt honored that she had Peter's trust.

"Long story short, when Bucky and I got captured in Azzano by the Nazis, he and I got singled out by Dr. Zola for becoming test subjects. I don't know how long it went on. I don't even remember some of it, but Steve and Bucky saved me and I found all of you and we became the Howling Commandos. I don't know what exactly he injected into us, but I'm sure whatever it was is the reason I'm still here. Maybe Dr. Zola was trying to re-create the super soldier serum and he succeeded in me, when he separated Bucky and I, maybe Zola recognized that whatever he was doing worked on me." Peter explained as he went into speculation. 

Steve and Peggy have each other a look. "Steve, do you remember anything about the lab they were in?" Peggy asked calmly.

"No, but the SSR did a clean sweep of the place, so wouldn't it have been documented if they found something?" Steve pondered, as he crossed his arms.

"Nothing major came up in reports that I know of. That's probably how we didnt know Zola succeeded in creating _another_ super soldier." Peggy theorized.

Peter watched as the two had their discussion, which ended with Steve looking down. Peter didn't exactly know how to even summon his powers, it felt like his body was still undergoing the change but he never felt any super strength. Peter couldn't believe he had the serum in his body. What was the serum supposed to feel like? Because Peter felt the same as ever.

"You should let a good doctor run some tests on you." Peter tensed up as Peggy said this.

"Peggy…" Steve admonished.

"I know it's a touchy subject, Steve. However I'm worried how this will affect Peter's body going forward. He's a growing boy for goodness sake! He needs the proper help." Peggy reasoned.

Before Steve could say anything, Peter spoke up. "I will, but not yet. I'm not ready." Peter shook his head at Peggy, which made her heart ache. She didn't like putting Peter in this position.

"It's okay, kiddo." Steve gave a reassuring pat on his shoulder. "Remember what Fury said? You can come to them whenever you're ready. They won't force you into anything."

Peter nodded and looked a little relieved again.

"Thank goodness for Nicholas for having some sense and decency." Peggy remarked, as she was happy that Peter didn't have to force himself into an unfavourable situation.

"Yeah…" Peter chuckled at that.

Peggy saw Peter smile and decided to hug him again, as the boy happily accepted another hug. Steve looked at them warmly and joined in. Somewhere in Steve's mind, he knew he needed more of this. It was quaint and powerful, a moment of peace for them after everything. It felt right.

"Hey, Peggy. Umm, I've been wanting to do this thing." Peter began.

"What thing, darling?" Peggy brushed his hair with her hands.

"My Aunt May, she died, I know that much. But I never got to do right by her. I want to visit her, if it's possible. Can you help me find where she is?" Peter asked Peggy, as he looked up to her, with the hope that he could find some closure. He had a lot more questions than just where his aunt lay, but he feared that if he tried to learn everything at once, his mind might explode.

"Of course, Peter. I'll try to help as much as I can." She pat his head, ruffling his hair.


	4. Heartache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Peter attend a funeral for their loved ones, and meet friends, new and old.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the delay! I will try to be more consistent with update. I hope you guys read the new chapter for IALWH. AJ is really good. I love their work.
> 
> Also, I'm sorry if the story feels kind of slow. I wanted to lay some groundwork. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter. Let me know what you think!

The day was perfect for a funeral. A perfect overshadow of clouds. Not a single glimpse of sunlight was found. Peter felt the wind push against his back, as he stood silently in a cemetery. Peggy had done as Peter had asked. 

A funeral for May Parker. It had been 65 years late. Peter sighed heavily at the weight of that number. He wondered if that feeling of emptiness would ever go away. It felt like one of the constants in Peter's life as of late.

By the end of planning for the funeral, Peter and Steve decided that Bucky should get one too. He deserved to be mourned properly. If only they had a body to bury. They never found Bucky after he fell. 

All those years, Steve was left to wonder what happened. Where was Bucky resting? The thought that Bucky went unburied and unfound for decades made him sick. Steve tried his hardest not to break, thinking about Bucky. He glanced over at Peter. The boy stood solemnly, staring into the distance. Steve looked down.

They were too alike.

Steve wrapped his arm around Peter's shoulder. "Hey, kid." Steve called Peter out of his stupor. 

Peter looked up at Steve. He could tell Steve was trying to reassure him. It made Peter wonder who it was that Steve was trying to convince, or were they just saying "everything will be alright" until one of them believed. The former boy-soldier's eyes were hollow. The despair of everything that had happened never seemed to go away. "'m fine…" 

"You're not fine, and that's okay." Steve caught the lie, not that he could blame the boy for trying to pretend like he was okay.

The guests slowly made their way. Peggy had told Steve it would be a small gathering. Not too many people. Approximately three other people apart from Steve, Peggy, and Peter were there.

They didn't greet them. Peggy simply nodded to them. She stepped forward and spoke.

"We are gathered here today to commemorate the life of May Parker and James Barnes. A mother and a friend, both of whom have long passed. Although it may be late, and Bucky isn't buried here, we shall celebrate their lives and honor them." Peggy's voice softened as she looked to Peter. "Peter, darling, would you like to say a few words?"

Peter looked to Peggy and nodded. He took a few steps forward. "I've known Aunt May my whole life. She always did her best to take care of me. She was there when I had nightmares. She made sure I ate and drank, even when times were tough. She may have been my aunt, but…" Peter's voice hitched as he knew the words that were going to come out of his mouth. "She… she was like a mother to me. Heck, she was my mother even if she was my aunt. I… I just miss her. I miss her so much. I wish I could've said goodbye to her. I wish I could have told her one last time that I loved her." Peter left his tears roll down. Saying goodbye this way had cemented it for him. May was gone. All that was left was moving forward, but taking a single step seemed too much to bear.

Steve closed his eyes, not being able to watch Peter in so much pain as he spoke. It hurt to see the boy look so broken. Steve walked to Peter, wrapping the boy into his arms as he finished speaking. Peter wrapped his arms around Steve.

Peter finally pulled apart from Steve, rubbing his eyes dry. "'m okay."

Steve looked pained at the boy trying to be strong. He pat his head, brushing the boy's hair back. Peter, alone, walked back to where they had stood. Steve braced himself as he had to speak next. He could never truly tell anyone what his real relationship with Bucky was. So he had to stand there, and tell everyone that they were just friends. That he was just some sort of brother to him.

"I'd known Bucky my whole life. He was all I had for so long. He was practically my family. People often joked that we were less of friends and more like brothers. We were completely inseparable. Being without him now, it makes me feel empty. I've been wondering how to move on, or if I even could. It hit me hard that I was found but they couldn't find Buck. I don't know where he is, but I hope he's at peace." Steve paused, thinking carefully about the words he would say next. He knew how he could play it off. "I wish I could tell Bucky that I love him one last time. That he didn't need to be worried about me. That despite everything, I'll be okay. Maybe not now, and maybe not tomorrow, but someday. I'll be alright."

Steve finished, his head slinked down. Peter looked down as well, feeling the emotions of the eulogy. He couldn't bring himself to speak a few words for Bucky. It still hurt too much for him. Just talking about May was hard enough. He didn't have the strength for two eulogies.

Peggy cleared her throat. "If anyone else would like to speak a few words. They may do so." Peggy announced to the crowd of three.

From the three, an old man stood forward. He slowly made his way with a cane in hand. As he stood in the front, he cleared his throat. "Cap and Petey might not recognize me, and I can't say I blame 'em. I'm a wrinkly old man now, so I'll introduce myself. Name's Timothy Dugan, but most people call me Dum Dum."

Steve and Peter looked to each other. 

"Heya Cap, Petey." Dum Dum saluted to the two. "Good to see ya two still kickin'."

"Hey yourself, idiot." Steve greeted quietly as Peter waved. Steve noted that he kept the mustache. He only wished he recognized it sooner.

Dum Dum smiled at his friends. "We can catch up later, but I'm glad to see ya two. I said my peace then, and not much changed. I miss that poor bastard. Bucky was one of the best of us. He died saving Captain Rogers and Private Parker. He died honorably fighting for our country. I miss him to bits. It was an honour serving alongside him, and bein' his drinking buddy. Hoping to God that Bucky is watching us from some cloud in Heaven. Ya deserve your rest and peace. I miss ya, buddy." Dum Dum wiped the tear that fell from his eye, as he finished his eulogy.

Dum Dum walked slowly towards Steve and Peter, trudging slowly with his cane. Steve and Peter met him half way. They embraced in a group hug.

"I missed ya too, idiots. Welcome back to the world." Dum Dum murmured to them.

"Missed you too, Dum Dum." Peter whispered into the hug.

As they pulled apart, Steve smiled at the old man. "Well, now I guess you can't say you're the better looking one of the two of us now." Steve joked.

"Yeah, cuz ya cheated." Dum Dum scoffed.

Steve and Dum Dum laughed softly. Dum Dum decided to stand beside Steve and Peter for the rest of the funeral.

The next person who stood forward was a young man. Peter couldn't place the familiarity, but accepted that he would find out who the man was soon enough anyways.

"I'd like to start by introducing myself to Captain Rogers and Private Parker. My name is Jim Morita Jr. I was named after my grandfather in Howling Commandos, Jim Morita. My grandfather has long since passed away. Mrs. Carter-Sousa approached me, and asked if I would like to be part of a funeral for Sergeant Barnes. I'm here today to speak on behalf of my grandfather. When I was a boy, he used to tell me stories of being a Howling Commando. I know he cared for all of Commandos. It was an honour for him to serve for his country and under the Captain. He missed you three dearly, Captain Rogers, Private Parker, and the Sergeant. I know he would express his joy if he could see you two standing here today." Jim's eulogy on his grandfather's behalf ended. He nodded his head to Peter and Steve as he went back to his place.

The funeral ended there. Steve looked at Bucky's grave as Peter looked to May's. The silence continued. Peter turned around slowly, and soon Steve had followed. It was time to move forward, and they were taking the first steps.

* * *

Peter's gaze caught Steve talking to Dum Dum. Peter smiled at Steve being able to talk Dum Dum like they did back then. Slowly, Peter's ears began to pick-up tidbits of the conversation. There was a stirring feeling inside his head. Peter blinked in confusion, trying to shake it away. Peter didn't understand what was happening to him.

"Peter?" The boy turned to find Jim Morita Jr. standing next to him. "You okay?" Peter focused on Jim, as he looked worried. It grounded him.

Peter cleared his throat. "Yeah, I'm- I'm doing okay. It's just hard. I-" Peter stopped, suddenly. He didn't know if he could pass off the lie. He became unsure if it would be convincing enough. He could handle himself.

Jim gave him a sympathetic look. "That's okay, Peter. If I can call you that." Peter nodded to his asking permission. "You don't need to say anything if you don't want to. Most grieving children don't like talking about these things."

Peter relaxed. "Oh."

The man cleared his own throat. "I just wanted to meet you, personally. I can't believe it's really you. My grandfather told me stories about the Howling Commandos. It's really nice to meet you."

"Thank you. That's nice of you to say." Peter blushed. "Ah, I actually wanted to ask about Morita, your grandfather, a bit more. How was he?" Peter asked timidly.

Jim sighed, rubbing his temple. "He never went into too much detail, but it hit hard to lose you guys. None of the Howling Commandos took it well. After the Captain had died, my father was being considered to lead the rest of the Commandos, but Sergeant Dugan took over and led them. I don't think it's a role he necessarily enjoyed. The Howling Commandos were never really the same after Sergeant Barnes, Captain Rogers, you had been killed in action."

Peter thought about everything, as Jim spoke. It was hard to try to absorb what had been said. He should have expected as much. Having heard the truth still left a larger impact then the assumption he had come to expect.

"Did Jim, your grandfather I mean, did he live a good life?" Peter asked quietly.

"Yeah, for the most part. He and my dad turned out okay. I'm fine too. I feel accomplished. I think my grandfather lived a great life. He died peacefully." Jim gazed into the boy's eyes.

Peter felt a little peace knowing Jim Sr. had lived a good life. Jim Jr. noticed the smile that Peter made. It was an appreciative look.

Sighing in relief, Peter looked back to the man. He thought of changing the subject to something more pleasant. "So, what do you? For a job, I mean."

"Oh, I run a high school. I'm a principal. For the most part, I like it." Jim shrugged.

"Oh, wow. That's neat. I wonder what high school is like. I didn't graduate." Peter tried to make small talk, but he didn't know what else he could say to not make it seem like he didn't have anything interesting to say to that.

"Is that so?" Jim tilted his head in curiosity. 

"Yeah, times were tough. Dropped out to try to make some money."

Jim looked down and gave a sympathetic look again. "You know, Peter. Times have changed and not just with the passing of literal time. You can always go back. Try to rebuild your life, maybe find some footing. It's hard to live in our world without a proper education."

The thought crossed through Peter. He wondered if it was possible. To be able to rebuild his life. He was still picking up the pieces of his previous one. It felt daunting to take a step toward trying to build a new life. Part of Peter knew that he should try, but the task felt so unknown. He couldn't see where that path would lead him.

Jim noticed Peter getting lost in his thoughts. He reached out to hold Peter's shoulder. "Peter, you don't have to think about it now. It's just something to put thought into when you've had time to sit down. I know that if you ever wanted to go back to school, I would be more than pleased to welcome you to Midtown."

Peter nodded. 

* * *

As Dum Dum talked to Steve, he found himself relaxing. Dum Dum didn't change too much. He was still a goofball. Steve's eyes caught Peggy approaching them.

"Hey boys. Catching up I hope?" Peggy smirked.

Dum Dum practically cheered. "Peggy, it's good to see you. How have you been? How are the kids?"

"I'm well. The kids are doing splendidly. How's your son?" Peggy asked.

"He's great. He just got a job at a firm. I'm proud of him." Dum Dum grinned proudly to his son's achievements.

"That's wonderful!" Peggy clasped her hands together in joy.

"You had a son?" Steve spoke with disbelief.

"Aw, c'mon Steve! Don't say it like that." Dum Dum whined.

"Gotta admit, I didn't see you as the type. What happened to 'I'm not having a kid ever' vow." Steve smirked, teasingly.

"That was a long time ago." Dum Dum pointed accusingly.

"Oh boys, boys, settle down." Peggy chided, as a sly grin replaced her poised demeanor. Peggy turned to Steve. "I was just as shocked to hear the news as you, Steve."

Steve laughed and Dum Dum complained about Peggy not having his back. Steve caught his breath. His smile shifted into a frown as Peggy and Dum Dum's argument faded in his ears. He wished Bucky was here to catch up with everything. He sure would've had a good laugh at Dum Dum having a kid. Probably would've tried to spoil him too, as an uncle.

"Steve?" Peggy called him out a spur.

"Yeah?" Steve blinked up.

"What's wrong?" Peggy frowned sadly. Dum Dum gave him a worried look.

"Yeah- Yeah, I just. There's a lot to catch up on. You're both married, and you had a kid. Wish I was there to see it all. It feels like the more I learn about everything the more I know that even more to catch up on. Feels neverending." Steve admitted.

Dum Dum rubbed his back. "Don't worry, Cap'n. You're not alone. We'll help you as much as we can."

"Thanks." Steve smiled at his friend's attempt to comfort him. He didn't believe in the words. The future was an abyss of information. Steve wondered if he could shift through it all.

* * *

"Mr. Parker?" A woman called Peter out of his daze, pulling him away from staring into the distance.

"Yes?"

"Hi, my name is Julia Fuller. My mother was a friend of May Parker. I'm here on her behalf after Mrs. Sousa-Carter called." The woman greeted, extending her hand to shake his.

Peter accepted and nodded. "Nice to meet you, Julia."

"You as well… I know now might not be the best time to talk to you, but I need to tell you things." Julia looked down before looking back to Peter. There was a hesitation in her face that he didn't understand.

"What might that be?" Peter pushed for a little more to go on.

"Before May died, she didn't have anyone else to pass her things on to. So she chose my mother to hold her things. Like photo albums, jewelry, money and things you and your family owned. Most things were given away, like the apartment and other appliances." Julia explained carefully.

Peter caught on to what she was going to say next. "And you're here to return those things to me?"

"Yes, if you'd like them that is." Julia offered.

Peter nodded quickly. "Of course, I would be happy to take them back. Thank you, for holding on to them for so long. I can't imagine it was pleasant to hold on to things that weren't part of your family."

"Yeah well, they were just collecting dust. My mother really cared for her friend, so she did what most friends do. She carried May and everything she had with her." Julia stopped.

"Could she not be here today? I would've loved to meet her." Peter wondered.

Julia sighed. Peter could see a sadness in her eyes. Before Peter could stop her, Julia spoke. "My mother passed away a few years ago. I know she would have loved to meet you. She probably would have spoken a few words on May's behalf. I'm sorry I didn't say anything at the funeral. It felt out-of-place for me to speak when I had no emotions attached to the people who are gone." 

"That's okay. You didn't have to apologize to me. I'm sorry for your loss." Peter reassures her, before giving his condolences.

"Thank you for saying that. It's hard to lose people in your life. Especially in your case because that's not the only thing going on for you. I'll try to collect everything and get them to you as soon as possible. I'd ask for an address I could send them to, but I'm not sure if you're allowed to give that to me. You're a protected person, apparently." Julia mused toward the end.

"I'll talk to Peggy about it. She'll probably help you relocate it to me." Peter informed her, so she wouldn't need to worry over logistics.

"Alright then." Julia nodded. "It was nice meeting you, Mr. Parker."

Peter nodded back. "You too, and you can call me Peter."

"Of course." Julia waved and turned away from him, walking away from, leaving Peter to his thoughts again. The weight of the day still pressed against him. Peter looked forward to sorting through a box of his things. At least he could still have some parts of his old life back.

After the funeral had passed, Steve and Peter made their way home to a SHIELD sanctioned apartment in Queens.

* * *

_ Peter was dangling off the side of a train. His only link to the train and a chasm of nothing was Bucky's tight grip on his arm. The blistering winds hit Peter hard. He was trying his hardest to hold on to Bucky. _

_ This was it. He was going to die here. Did they get Zola? Is Steve okay? What about the Howling Commandos? Too many questions and no answers to find any peace. This was how it would end. A lifetime worth of regrets. He didn't get to see May one last time. Tell her he loved her. _

_ Peter wondered if he would see Uncle Ben. Ben would probably be so mad. He'd scold him into a second death for sure. _

_ And suddenly, Peter was flung up. He landed onto Steve, who caught him. He quickly put down Peter and ran. Peter didn't see the anguish on Steve's face as he screamed for Bucky.  _

_ Just like that, Peter lost his friend who died saving him. The despair rushed in. It couldn't be. It wasn't possible.  _

_ Peter rushed forward to the hole in the train. "Bucky? Bucky! No! Bucky!!" _

Peter rose from the bed with cold sweat. "Bucky…" The boy whispered. Peter trembled, as he held himself. Peter's eyes closed as he lay back into the bed. "I'm sorry, Bucky…" Peter apologized, as he rubbed his tears away, as he kept thinking of the death of his comrade-in-arms. 

Sleep escaped Peter. He couldn't go back to sleep after that. He needed to clear his head. He walked out of the room. Slowly, he walked to the kitchen. Peter eyed the kitchen clock, it was 2am in the morning. He got himself a glass of water, sipping the water carefully.

"Can't sleep either?" Peter flinched as he turned to find Steve standing behind him. Steve was holding a book. The title read "Of Mice and Men". Peter looked back up at Steve.

"Yeah. I had a nightmare. When did you get up?" Peter slouched.

"Me too, about half an hour ago." Steve looked down, ashamed for some reason. 

They sit silently at the couch of the living room. Peter quietly sipped his water and Steve read his book again. Steve caught Peter's eye. They were struggling to talk to each other. After a few minutes more of silence, Steve set his book down.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Steve offered.

Peter eyed the super soldier. "No."

Steve sighed. "Peter, I'd like to think you can come to me for anything. I have nightmares too."

"I trust you, Steve. I just… It's hard to start." Peter mumbled.

Steve understood that. He wouldn't force Peter to talk. Just a nudge, but no pushing. Steve knew that. Taking a breath, Steve gave a soft look to Peter. The soldier thought about this rationally. He trusted Peter with his life. He trusted Peter with almost everything he had except his real relationship with Bucky. Steve knew he could trust talking to Peter about his own nightmares.

"Would you mind letting me start about mine?" Steve asked the boy.

Peter nodded. "Of course."

Steve's palm brushed the cover of the book. "The night Buck died, I couldn't even sleep. You saw me drinking. Now with going into ice, and coming out in the future, it all just hits hard. You know, this book is about two friends, George and Lennie, and how they get by during the Depression. They had this plan of starting a farm. It would be easier for them to get by like that. It made me miss Bucky, because we could've had these plans to go and start a life and we'd find a way to get by and have a peaceful life too. Ya know, before the war. We had each other back like George and Lennie did, through thick and thin. He was my family. I… I miss him so much."

Steve could almost curse. How he held a book that could affect him so badly. He just found it on the shelf and picked it up because the title seemed interesting. Of course, knowing his luck, it would've been a book that resonated with him.

Peter thought to himself as he absorbed the things that Steve had said. Of course, he should've realized how similar their pain was. Steve was the only person who got it. They're two peas in a pod. They understood a whole world of pain together. It made Peter feel like a burden lifted. That he could definitely talk to Steve about all these feelings that had been building inside him.

"I miss him too. I kept thinking about how he saved me. He would've probably lived if he let me go, but he went and saved me and he paid the price for that." Peter whispered. Steve could hear the self-loathing in Peter's voice. It made his heart break. Steve put the book down against the table and turned to Peter.

"Peter, don't beat yourself up. I don't blame you and Buck didn't hesitate to save you. 'Cuz you meant something to him, to us." Steve assured him, wrapping his arm around Peter's shoulders.

"Yeah, I know. It just doesn't make it hurt any less." Peter slowly rested his head on Steve. "I can't stop blaming myself. I try, but I keep thinking about it." Peter grabbed Steve's arm. The tears began to fall, his shoulders shook violently.

"We're goin' to get through this, kiddo. I promise." Steve rested Peter's head against him, he felt Peter wrap his arms around him. "I blame myself too. I wish I was strong enough to save both of you. In the end, I didn't save either of you. I still feel like a failure, Peter. I became a soldier to fight in the war. To fight for my country. I thought I could do more with the serum, but even after everything, I couldn't save you or Bucky. Bucky had to give his life for you." Steve felt a tear fall from his eyes. Peter stared up at him in shock. Words escaped the boy.

"Pete, we've been through alot. After all the time we've known each other, I want to keep you safe. At first it was because Bucky cared about you. He stubbornly clung to you. Talked about having to protect you. He denied the idea of sending you back to Queens. The look on Bucky's face was so fierce. I didn't get it then, but I get it now. Pete, if I had lost you too that day, I don't know what I would do. It's because it's you, kiddo. You inspire something in both of us. Now you're all I got left, Peter. I don't know if I could take losing anyone else, most of all you. I love you." Steve hugged Peter tightly. His chin rested on the boy's head. Peter's grip only got stronger.

"It's the same for me. You're all I have left, Steve." Peter murmured. "I love you, too."

The tears dropped down. They cried and cried as they opened up. They must have sat there for hours as they talked about their thoughts and feelings. They let themselves cry that night. Maybe tomorrow they'll put on a brave face for the world. Just not tonight, never tonight. Steve eyed the clock after a while, it was 4 in the morning. 

Peter's eyes began to droop. Steve sighed. "Hey, buddy. C'mon, let's get to bed. We've stayed up long enough." Steve noticed how much he sounded like a father. He liked how it sounded. It felt natural. 

Peter gave no response, as he sat up, trying to keep his eyes open. Steve saw Peter struggling. Without asking, Steve held the boy and carried him in his arms. Steve felt Peter grip his shirt, as he leaned into him. Steve smiled at the boy.

"I sleep w'you t'night?" Peter slurred his speech, as his grip tightened.

"Sure, kiddo."

Steve carried Peter to his room. He tucked the boy in, before he walked to the other side of the bed. He lay beside Peter. Steve watched as Peter shifted in the bed, inching closer to the older man. 

"Night, Steeb." And just like that, Peter was out like a light. Steve dared not move, as Peter chose to rest his head on his chest. Steve wrapped his arms around Peter, like a second blanket around him.

"I swear I'll protect you, Peter. I love you." Steve whispered to the sleeping child, before kissing his forehead. Steve closed his eyes. For the first time in a while, he felt a peace that he hadn't felt for so long. He just knew the nightmares wouldn't bother him tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember to go read AJ's work. It was really good! They're talented. Comment I'd you liked this. Leave a kudos too! ❤


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